If We Stayed

not real names!!!!


Pebbles
Mr. Nelsen
2B
3/23/09

If We Stayed

You always see people with bad lives on T.V. or in books; but you never have someone that’s close to you or even you yourself endure a hardship. Unfortunately it is someoneyour close to….. Because it’s me…. And my little brother Nick. You may see me at school, in the mall, or somewhere else but all you think is “oh it’s just that girl. What’s her name? Emily? Yah it was Emily wasn’t it.” You never think “I wonder how she and her brother are doing with everything that’s going on.” You would never think twice because you don’t know or don’t really care. You would maybe be scared of what to say and how you say it. Or maybe your one of those people who always say “oh please I already have enough drama in my own pitiful life”. Well I guess I might have to say too bad because it is my time, as the drama queen inside of all of us might say, to share my own pitiful life.

My little brother and I were raised without a dad; we were raised very well for the fact that our mom had been a single parent since I was three.(I am now 15 my brother is now 11) We were just the happiest little family you would ever see, always loving and caring about each other cause that was all we had. The best of the best that,was us. Our mom cared more about us than her in any matter even if she had to go to the doctor. She would always save up that money from not going to the doctors for either our doctor visits or asthma medicine for Nick. Maybe other any medicines that we needed to have and she would go to any length to get it.

Unfortunately, those missed doctor visits added up. Mom got sick. She got really sick. She had to go to the hospital. She was diagnosed with liver failure, kidney failure, lung failure, and eventually heart failure. She was in there for one month exactly. She had one whole month of suffering I wish I would have endures instead of her. I still get nightmares of her in her hospital bed all bloated from poisons that were killing her; she would wake up, and try to pull herself up while calling my name. I got that dream for months after she died. During that time I was 14 and Nick was just 10. We had to move to a different state and live with our grandma and Deryk, her spouse.

Deryk is a 72 year old man. To be factual he was an old, cranky, homicidal, little boy hater, jealous, 72 year old man. It would always start off as simply yelling, then more vigorous. Then he would hit. Not just hit, he would choke and kick him. The worst thing that man did to Nick was tell him this:“YOU KNOW WHY YOUR MOM DIED!!? YOU KILLED HER!! YOU KILLED HER FROM STRESS!!” When you tell a ten year
old that sooner or later he will believe that.

My little boy did believe that and he started talking about if he was dead then momwould still be alive. He would cry and crawl into my arms and just talk about dying andwhat it would be like to die. I just held him and brushed back his thick hair the way our mom used to do when we were upset. It helped him calm down so I could get some sort of thought through my head. When you hear the only person you truly would go in front of a bullet for say that. Your world crumbles, not even to big chunks but to dirt; lowly, pathetic dirt.

It was my first year in high school; you’re supposed to work harder than ever on your school work. I couldn’t even remember my own friends’ names. Could you? My grades were horrible, I was losing the new friends’ I had just made. I was being frowned upon by teachers and my grandma. My grandma is a great person; she just didn’t want to believe that her husband was beating her grandson.

Since my grandma wasn’t going to call the police on her husband that was so good to her. Deryk obviously wasn’t going to turn his self in. Nick had turned 11 and he just hated it when I talked about him telling on Deryk. I was not going to let that... that…creature hurt my bother. I told my aunt when we visited all that was happening in that house.

So as was decided we were to move. So I would be a new kid in a new state, again.
More court orders to get us to stay with our aunt, More packing, and probably a certain old guy that’s most likely going to be more agitated than usual. The faster we packed and said our good byes to the friends we had made in those horrible seven months, the faster we got to leave. I don’t really like moving but you do have to do what you have to do. All I had to do was make sure nothing drastic was to happen during the time we began packing from the time we get on the plane.

The moment we got onto that plane was the greatest moment of my life, Nicks’ too. I could tell he exclaimed “Thank god! I was scared of that guy, Emily.” Even though his words were scary I laughed at the way he said those words. Out of nervousness my laugh turned out weird. Even though we were free of that man I was still scared, I’m not sure why but I was scared and you cant help those kinds of feelings.

We got off the plane and took that long hour drive it took to take to get to the tiny little house from the airport. The little house was out in the country of Morgan Hill California. That house was so cute the first time I saw it. You could never guess you could comfortably fit two people in there much less six. My aunt and uncle were married and had two kids a sixteen year old, Tyrone and a six year old named Nicole. All together that made six of us squished into that little house.

Deryk and our grandma had to drive our stuff up here and our cat and dog. While
everyone was waiting for them to come here Nick came up with a startling question.
What if we had stayed in Arizona with Deryk? “Why would you think of that?” I asked.

“Well… I was just wondering what you would do? What would you do if we had to
stay there?” He seemed frightened by the question.

“I… don’t know…” I couldn’t answer the question; I was stunned by his answer. My
little brother sounded just so little and alone. He stood there his hazel eyes seemed to get bigger every moment I couldn’t answer.

“Would you do anything?” he didn’t look me in the eye as he spoke.

“What!” I couldn’t imagine he just said that. “I would move across the country for
you.”

“What would you do about Deryk?” all I could see was his heart in his eyes, the grief that needed to be let go.

“Well, I would call the police, or maybe I’d be sent to juvi for beating an old guy to death.” The last thing made him smile; the smile was showing his new teeth that had been growing in. with my answer he walked off to play with Nicole like nothing horrible had ever happened to him at all. Moments like that I wish could happen all the time. I actually don’t know what I would do. Would I actually have the courage to call the police? I’m pretty sure I would definitely have the courage to beat that guy to death and tear him apart with my bare hands.

I would definitely hurt Deryk to the point where he would die. He should he is evil and our parents were not. Our dad lived to the age of 29, our mom 42. He being 72 and evil definitely deserves the right to be dead. Just thinking about unfair life is sends millions of raw emotions into my body and mind.

Anger, rage sorrow, confusion, pain, and many other emotions that it would take me years to explain. Even if I wrote them down word for word it would probably be all sorts off gibberish to you. These emotions were coming back just like when I found out my mom was gone.

I would never hear say good night, good morning even boring stuff that she could talk for hours for. But I would have her talk about computers just so I could her my moms’ voice. The way she would smile or make funny voices to make us laugh. Those were the moments I would kill for. Literally. Those emotions were all coming back but in different manners.

I had to get back to the real question, what would I do? Maybe I would let one of the child protection services (C.P.S) people deal with it. If they did Nick and I would be sent into foster care. We could be separated, I wouldn’t be able to function I wouldn’t be able to breath knowing Nick was gone. To me that was worse than us dying.

Maybe I could run away. Nick and would be together, like I wanted ever since our
mom died. I thought that when our dad died it was just the three of us. When my mom
passed the only number left is two. I could do running. I wouldn’t let anything hurt us that would be over my dead body. This hopefully won’t be happening any time soon. I won’t ever know I guess but that would be as far as I could go. If I could go farther, if that was possible, I would.



All I know is that I would go to the ends of the earth to get my brother away from that monster of a man. I would do everything humanly and inhumanly possible to make sure my only immediate family member will have the best life he could ever have after this. Any kid that has to go through what he did should. Too bad the world won’t recognize that factor. Maybe they only care about famous people but famous people make up their own problems; like breaking a nail and not notice while doing a photo shoot. That would probably make the front page for maybe a week give or take.

I don’t know what I would do and I’m glad I will never find out. Thankfully our aunt had come into our lives at the right time. During the seven months I spent enduring Deryk I began to lose the faith in if there was a god or not. Now I guess I can thank faith for being there when we needed it the most. Faith or not things happen for a reason and they happen when they happen.

I know every feeling in the world one human being can feel. I know every type of rage and sorrow a teenage girl can feel worth a lifetime. But I probably wouldn’t give that up. If this didn’t happen I wouldn’t have realized how much I needed to be close to my family. My family is family, they wont hurt you they will always be there for you, they will be the hands that will hold you up when you fall. I will never, never, ever forgive Deryk for what he did to my little, 11 year old brother. Deryk will never deserve my attention and he never will get it. We don’t talk about Deryk much anymore. My brother and I try to think about all the happy things that we did with our mom. In those times we would laugh and cry. Even if we would cry it would still be one of those happy Kodak moments. My brother and I would escape reality for a while.

During those occasional times when we would talk about our mom; I feel as if the gap between us that Deryk had created was being filled up twice as fast as we had to lose it. I hated the situation we were in. hated it more than the life I had been given.In the long run of things everything sort of worked out. My brother and I are getting closer than ever. Before we were just drifting away. Further and further apart. Maybe I could even thank Deryk, without him I would have never have realized how much my brother and I really needed each other. Without what had happened we wouldn’t be the people we are and we wouldn’t have the feelings we have today. I’m pretty lucky thatthings had happened the way they happened.

Everything that needs to fall into place will fall into place. You just need to let it happen how ever hard it may be. You might not want to be in the situation your in but every thing does happen for a reason. My little brother and I are living proof of this. Even if you’re young you can make it through. My little Nick was just ten and I was just fourteen.