i am really depressed no one but a few people will understand: I MISS MY MOM!!!!!!! I WANT TO CALL SOMEONE MOM!!!!! I WANT FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND!!!!!! MY FRIENDS HAVENT EXPERIENCED DEATH!!!!! I NEED PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS GOOD TO CUT YOURSELF EVEN THOUGH U MIGHT NOT WANT TO DIE OR MAYBE U DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN RIGHTFULLY HOLD ME WHEN I CRY!!!! WHEN WILL I EVER HAVE THAT!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEED SOMEONE TO JUST BE THERE BUT THE WORLD KEEPS ON GOING AND THEN I CANT CATH UP AND IT GOES FASTER AND THEN IM LOST!!!!!!!!! TO CLARIFY I WROTE A DIARY ENTRY IN A JOURNAL:
IF SUICIDE NOTES BRING PEOPLE BACK TO REALITY WHY DOES IT SCARE?IF THEY ARE THE ONLY WAY TO THINK CLEARLY WHY ARE THEY SO DISOWNED?WE DONT WANT TO DIE,WE JUST WANT TO GIVE UP. ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO JUST LIE LIMP THAN FIGHT YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE.WHY WE LISTEN TO LOUD DEPRESSING MUSIC IS SO MOST OF OUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT GETTING THOUGHT. WHY WE WEAR BLACK IS SO INSTEAD OF SHARING OUR HORRIBLE THOUGHTS WITH RAGE,SORROW,CONFUSION,WE CAN SHARE OUR THOUGHTS A SILENT SAFE WAY.WHY WE CUT OURSELVES IS BECAUSE WE DONT WANT TO HURT THE PEOPLE WE LOVE,ITS NOT BECAUSE WERE NUMB, WE FEEL TOO MUCH,AND WHAT OTHER OPTIONS DO WE REALLY HAVE?YOU GET ANGRY WITH US WHEN WE SAY WHAT WE THINK BECAUSE WE DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE. WE PUT ON A MASK AND HOPE YOU BUY IT THEN ALL WE HAVE LEFT IS OUR BODY,SO FRAGILE, AND EMOTIONS WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO EAT US FROM THE INSIDE OUT. THE TRUTH IS WE DO WANT TO LIVE, BE HAPPYAND SMILE LIKE WE DID,BUT NOW THE TRUTH IS WE DONT KNOW HOW.....
PEBBLES
2 comments:
Tyler i may not understand how you feel and i probably never will but if u just need someone to talk to about anything and i mean anything my number is 850-7835 and i will always listen and offer any help i can but do understand that i'm not trying to force you to call me simply that i don't want to see another friend go down this path when i might be able to help them you don't hav to call and if you do then know that anything said is stirctly confidential and you are talking to my at your own will. I'm not an actual therapist but a friend who cares
jeez welll............ thanks "fluffy" lol ill consider it
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