hey guys

i am really depressed no one but a few people will understand: I MISS MY MOM!!!!!!! I WANT TO CALL SOMEONE MOM!!!!! I WANT FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND!!!!!! MY FRIENDS HAVENT EXPERIENCED DEATH!!!!! I NEED PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS GOOD TO CUT YOURSELF EVEN THOUGH U MIGHT NOT WANT TO DIE OR MAYBE U DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN RIGHTFULLY HOLD ME WHEN I CRY!!!! WHEN WILL I EVER HAVE THAT!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEED SOMEONE TO JUST BE THERE BUT THE WORLD KEEPS ON GOING AND THEN I CANT CATH UP AND IT GOES FASTER AND THEN IM LOST!!!!!!!!! TO CLARIFY I WROTE A DIARY ENTRY IN A JOURNAL:
IF SUICIDE NOTES BRING PEOPLE BACK TO REALITY WHY DOES IT SCARE?IF THEY ARE THE ONLY WAY TO THINK CLEARLY WHY ARE THEY SO DISOWNED?WE DONT WANT TO DIE,WE JUST WANT TO GIVE UP. ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO JUST LIE LIMP THAN FIGHT YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE.WHY WE LISTEN TO LOUD DEPRESSING MUSIC IS SO MOST OF OUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT GETTING THOUGHT. WHY WE WEAR BLACK IS SO INSTEAD OF SHARING OUR HORRIBLE THOUGHTS WITH RAGE,SORROW,CONFUSION,WE CAN SHARE OUR THOUGHTS A SILENT SAFE WAY.WHY WE CUT OURSELVES IS BECAUSE WE DONT WANT TO HURT THE PEOPLE WE LOVE,ITS NOT BECAUSE WERE NUMB, WE FEEL TOO MUCH,AND WHAT OTHER OPTIONS DO WE REALLY HAVE?YOU GET ANGRY WITH US WHEN WE SAY WHAT WE THINK BECAUSE WE DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE. WE PUT ON A MASK AND HOPE YOU BUY IT THEN ALL WE HAVE LEFT IS OUR BODY,SO FRAGILE, AND EMOTIONS WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO EAT US FROM THE INSIDE OUT. THE TRUTH IS WE DO WANT TO LIVE, BE HAPPYAND SMILE LIKE WE DID,BUT NOW THE TRUTH IS WE DONT KNOW HOW.....
PEBBLES

hey

hey guys i got music mwahahahhahahahhahahha i AM evil well these are my fav. songs so listen and be A FAN!!!!!!!!!! anyway thats actually it im not completely interesting except the guy i liked sat next to me and stuffs!!!!!!! wow i am a girl!!! lol
-pebbles

poem

i posted a poem my brother wrote a while ago and i want to post one of my own:


I was scared
I was terrified
I was lost
I wanted to cry and crawl
Into someone’s arms
But I was alone
I was angry
I was furious
I was dying
I wanted to feel nothing
But my heart was being
Ripped apart
I was alone
I was isolated
I was done
I wanted to be surrounded
When I yelled no one answered
I am terrified
I am furious
I am now not alone

older brothers

i would advise all of u to not ever have an older brother and be as stubborn and cocky as i can be here are some examples:

1. when he asks you to box with him without any gear do NOT say yes(especially if he weighs 172 lbs. and is a foot taller than you) because you WILL end up with a huge bump and green and blue bruise(do NOT not block his puches with you upper forearm) and do not try to show him your bruise because he WILL poke it really hard!
2. when he says "oh go cry about it" do not say "i will" because u will get flicked or poked really hard or puched and especially dont puch him back becuse if u are tiny he will pick u up and throw u over his shoulders and start to walk away( which is NOT fun)
3. when he bashes the palm of his hand into your forehaed just try to let it go or immeadiatley put your head into his stomach and try to leave it there. when he walks away you run!!!
4. if you run away and he tries to catch you run in zigzag lines but once he catches you he will be picked u up and and get the crap beat out of you and not let u down cause he says that u dont weigh anything!! then he will drag u into the house and be like right ontop of you untill u fall asleep

yup thats practically it and if you have an older make sure you can take him down before you try to fight him and if he is reading this : my arm hurts the bump went away but its turning green and yes i will cry about it!!!!!!!!!!!!

-pebbles

jessis blog!!!!

my friend jessi started a blog so hear it is be the second to follow cause i was the first!!!

http://averagesugeraddict.blogspot.com/

mwahahahahhahahahahahahahaha i no made it work mwahahahhahahha

st.patricks day!!

hey guys happy st.pattys day!! wear green today!!!! i don't like green so i don't own much of it except i got like three green sweatshirts even though it says above i don't like green!! oh well but i am wearing a long-sleeve shirt thats striped with black and gray and has green end of sleeves and collar and embroidery and the infamous jeans(i dont own any shorts or skirts only one pair of kaprees) and also the infamous metal studded belt with drawings of skulls with the infamous pair of hot pink shoes (dont judge me!! my black vans completely fell apart...and those pink shoes were 5 bucks at a flea market soo... but i made them hella cool well actually rachel did she drew tons of doodles with a black sharpie!! and at lunch today i drew another face on my other shoe and my catch phrase next to a zebra that rachel drew the catch phrase is:I AM ZEBRA HEAR ME ROAR!) (so now with every thing completed i have a shoe named fred and a shoe name joe!!!) thats practically it and if you dont wear green when u read this i will cyberly pinch u mwahahahahhahahahahahhaha I AM EVIL!!! and u dont get pinched i will have to as my cousin jess says go all chuck norris on u!!! okay thats it bye and have a happy st. pattys day
-pebbles
p.s. my cat turns 5 today she was born at 12:01 a.m.

maximum ride book!!!!!!!!!!

yay the new maximum ride book is coming out on the 16th yay im a pretty big fan i also liked their blog id give you the adress but they stopped doing post grrr.........
anyway i hope i have enough money ( we have a really big family 6 people including me and 4 pets and my aunt just got laid off untill she can get a part time job) to get the book but i read like hecka fast so it wont last long....
MAXIMUM RIDE 5TH COMING OUT MARCH 16TH!!!!
oh yea happy 15th b-day moogle i didnt forget!